Men, Women and Mustangs: The difference

A story about the relationships between women, their men, and their cars).

A guy named Roger is attracted to a women named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie, she accepts, they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anyone else. Then one evening, when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking she says it aloud, "Do you realise that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months"? 

Then there is silence in the car. To Elaine it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself "Mumm, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that?. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Elaine is thinking : But hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a bit more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily forward.... I mean, where are we going anyway? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? 

Meanwhile Roger is thinking: So, that means it was..... lets see.....February when we started going out, which was right after I had the stang at the dealer's, which means....let me check the miles....Whoa! I'm way overdue for an oil change here. 

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it in his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. 

And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, its still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather again. Shit, what cold weather? Its over 20 degrees and this thing is shifting like a truck. To think I paid those incompetent thieves $900! 

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I cant help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say its only a 90 day warranty .. the skumbags. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person who I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self centred, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.  

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They will probably say what warranty? Jeeze I'll give them their warranty and stick it right up their..... 

"Roger"; says Elaine out loud. "What"! says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this, she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. Maybe I should never have.... Oh God , I feel so......" (She breaks down sobbing).  "What,.. what"? says Roger. "I'm such a fool" Elaine sobs, "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. Its silly. There's no knight , and there's no horse". " 

There's no horse"?; says Roger, quietly contemplating the Mustang he is driving. "You think I'm a fool, don't you"? Elaine sobs. "No!" says Roger, finally glad to be able to give a correct answer. "Its just that...its that I...I need some time" Elaine says.  

There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he thinks of one that might work.  "Yes", he says.  Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.  "Oh Roger, do you really feel that way" she says. "What way"? says Roger. "That way about time" says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger.... "Yes" . Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse, or the Mustang. At last she speaks. "Thank you Roger",  she says. "Thank you"; says Roger. 

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps till dawn. When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he's never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there is the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, so he figures ..what the hell.. its better if he doesn't think about it.  

The next day Elaine calls her closest friend, and then another, and they talk about the situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail they analyse everything he has said, and everything she has said, exploring every word, every expression, and every gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss the subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either. Meanwhile Roger, while playing rugby with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause before getting in the shower, frown, and say,  "Trev,... did Elaine ever own a horse, or for that matter a Mustang....?" 

And that's the difference between men and women!